Rest for the overworked & sleep-deprived
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Heading into toddler swim class, summer 2024. Signing up for daily early morning class while only 2 months postpartum was its own interesting lesson in rest amidst chaos.
I was two months postpartum and had just willingly traded in my only nap window to sit with my daughter at daycare. After “mommy and me” swim class, I had hoped to quickly drop her off and dash home to bed. But her big blue eyes in the classroom doorway told me a different schedule was needed today. “But Mama I neeeed you. Stay with me?”
What’s 20 more minutes? It turns out, not much and everything at the same time.
I sat and held her hand as she ate her plate of lunch. Then, I put her down on her cot, rubbing her back until her body relaxed. When I stood up to leave, I watched my girl — awake and at peace; content with watching me go. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I surprised myself. I wasn’t stressed over the “lost time” nor was I resentful of the fact that I had missed the chance to nap. I had stopped my day to be still with her and in that stillness, I had found some rest for myself too.
Stillness and rest go together. As women, we are universally overwhelmed, wired to multi-task, to manage many things at once. Stillness doesn’t just sound elusive. It feels like a contradiction to who we are. God tells us otherwise. He doesn’t suggest we stop and take a break, He instructs us to do so. Indeed, in the commandment of Sabbath, He demands it.
“The Lord will fight for you, and you must be still” [Exodus 14:14]
“He got up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea ‘Silence! Be still!’ The wind ceased and there was a great calm” [Mark 4:39]
In both Exodus and Mark, the greater context is one of chaos. In Exodus 14, the Israelites are being approached by Pharaoh’s army. In Mark, Jesus is calming a storm. In both instances, God responds to the chaos with an instruction to “not be afraid” followed by a demand to “be still.” Moses tells the Israelites to “stand firm”. In Mark, Christ was already modeling this stillness before the storm started: he was fast asleep in the boat. In both scenarios, God says “Don’t be afraid” emphasizing the power in relinquishing control when we trust fully in Him.
Doesn’t it sometimes feel like we can’t afford to rest? Who has time to sleep in the boat (nap on the couch) while the storm is in full force (toddler tantrum is peaking and work is on fire)?
I often tell myself that rest is something I earn. After I have cleared my inbox, let the dog out, prepped dinner, cleaned the living room…then, I can rest. Or the even more extreme version: I didn’t finish all the work I wanted to do today; therefore, I can’t rest tonight. Truthfully, the “can’t” can be substituted with “don’t deserve”, “didn’t earn”, etc. These are lies and are all grounded in a lack of trust in God.
God has placed on my heart another lie that we tell ourselves: if we stop mid-motion, everything we’ve been working on holding up will just come crashing down. But that’s not really how the act of juggling works, is it? N was just telling me yesterday how “Ms Kat can juggle three balls, Mama, but she can’t juggle four.” I love how Christian podcaster and writer Sadie Huff explains it: the secret to burning out isn’t to become a better juggler, to never stop juggling. It’s to know when it’s ok to set down a ball.The art is in knowing our limits and knowing when to stop. We need to shift our focus on coming to God when we’re feeling burnt out. Trusting Him to help us know our limits.
We need to stop proclaiming that, as busy moms and women, rest isn’t something we “could or should” do. We need to stop thinking about the kind of rest we need and instead focus on coming to God for help in discerning how to take a break. God calls us to come to Him and then we will have rest. We need His help in knowing which ball to set down and when to do so. God’s directions to us are the same he gave to the Israelites, the same ones Jesus modeled in the boat: Stop. Be still. And trust that He can and is keeping it all going even though Mama chose to sit down.
What does rest look like for you? How do you feel God may be challenging you on your concept of “rest”?
What lie do you tell yourself about taking breaks?
Which “ball” might you need to set down in order to be still?